i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
