Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
