lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
operation have a gay friend backfired
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
