shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
