I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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