While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
