Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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