Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
