And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
