As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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