I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
