omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
