if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
