I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
