And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Mom said you looked used
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize