So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
