all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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