So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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