Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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