grandma shit on top of the toilet
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The beer is more important than you right now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
