Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
