weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
