My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
