so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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