I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
