I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My life is pants optional.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
