Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The Olympian is in my bed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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