i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
