According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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