come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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