Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize