I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
