wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
