beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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