Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
