my mouth tastes like poor choices
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize