apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I intend to get homeless drunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
