dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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