It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
