I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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