I swear she didn't look like that last week.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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