Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Semen is not good for contacts.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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