I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
