i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Drake has all the answers
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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