im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
