i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
