I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize