I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize