I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
