no. you can't hotbox the world.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
