The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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