just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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