I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
