Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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