i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
