Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
