Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
