You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize