Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Randomize