I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
