My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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