Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize