toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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