New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
