yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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