a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
