she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
