Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
50% drunk capacity currently
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
