You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
