And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize