You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
