And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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