i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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