worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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