You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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