I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize