Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
