I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
